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20110731
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Search Results 0 to 49 of about 83 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Jul 8, 2011 9:30am PDT
's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jiewrtdment we each got a show for you tonight. thank you very much. we have a show for you tonight. i'm telling you, it is a show the pope would tweet about. my guest tonight is louis ck. very few of you know this, but the ck is short for [bleeped] [laughter] yeah, man. all day we're here writing, all day. but we begin tonight with news out of illinois. you may remember about a year ago former governor rod blah... [stumbles over name] toured the country promising he'd be vindicated of all charges. he visited the "daily show" where i made a promise to him. again, if you get off scot-free, there's a hug waiting for you. >> i'm determined to work even harder to get that. >> jon: well, tonight i have some very good news to report. i will not have to hug rod blagojevich. [cheering and applause] and here's why: >> in chicago today, the jury said guilty 17 times as the former illinois governor
Comedy Central
Jul 8, 2011 2:05am PDT
stewart says he's both liberal and fair. is he really in >> did jon stewart mock republican presidential candidate herman cane because he's a black man? >> a closer look at why the comedian gets away at his one-sided attacks. >> jon stewart needs a lesson on truth-telling. >> why is jon stewart in denial about his liberal leanings? >> herman cain says comedian jon stewart was mocking him. >> here is an example of jon stewart's bias. >> jon stewart gets his view from the left but can't admit he's a liberal mouthpiece. >> herman cain on his feud with political sequester jon stewart. >> jon stewart breaks into his amos and andy routine to mock herman cain. >> jon stewart tries to disguise his true liberal bias. >> jon stewart says he's both liberal and he's fair. let's see how that's working out. >> jon: i guess everyone got the memo. [laughter] do you want to bring your whole network to the throwdown? you want to go channel 44 versus channel 45? obviously that's the channel configuration of time warner in the new york area, your local listings where comedy central and fox are would be more
Comedy Central
Jul 6, 2011 11:00pm PDT
with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday likeyear in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was getting. people are like this is a great day. it's been too long. i was like, yeah, exotic birds. you know what i mean? and then people are like wasn't friday amazing? i was like why? what happened friday? >> it is a history-making night with a vote that just happened a short time ago. new york becomes the 7th jurisdiction in america to recognize marriage for same sex couples. >> jon: that's a major civil rights victory. ( cheers and applause ) new york, finally, new york state's gay and lesbian community are free from the burden that was having to set foot in connecticut in order to get marr
Comedy Central
Jul 18, 2011 11:00pm PDT
, this is the daily show with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. welcome to the daily show. my name is is jon stewart. good one tonight. our guest the young actor daniel radcliffe. as you probably heard he's the star of the new flick harry potter and the half billion dollars in worldwide weekend gross. so exciting tonight. i found out something scientifically i didn't know was possible. a canadian can breed with a german. ( cheers and applause ) did you know that? ( cheers and applause ) i don't even know how they fit them together. they've created a new species a canad-erman. you know what? no fooling around. our top story tonight, of course, the debt ceiling and our ongoing segment. that is in no way hyperbolic. as america moves closer to just laying out a blanket in front of our garage and selling off all our old board games it has become clear that time for action is short. >> the president says he wants an agreement. >> president obama set a deadline. >> president obama now says it's decisi
Comedy Central
Jul 5, 2011 11:00pm PDT
daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to the dail show. my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, dr. cameron diaz. that will make sense later on in the program. you will see. she has graciously agreed to perform a surgical procedure on... [laughter] on tonight's program. a quick word before we get going to the tourist community, to the visitors to this great land of ours. if you've been here eight months, you live here. you live here. you're not from venezuela. [cheering and applause] donde esta you're mine. seven years of spanish, all i remember. [laughter] donde esta. let's begin tonight perhaps in america, the land of opportunity, where the streets are paved with let's say cinnabuns. [laughter] and yet we are nation besieged with problems, problems we must solve. problem number one, our gooey, rat-infested cinnabun-paved streets. why did we do that? that was a dopey material to pave our streets with. [laughter] we're going to need common-sense solutions to our problems if we're not just
Comedy Central
Jul 11, 2011 11:00pm PDT
show with jon stewart -- the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey, welcome to the show. my name is jon stewart. boom! we got a good one for you tonight. tonight's guest, dennis leary will be joining us on the program. (cheers and applause) >> jon: monday denis leary, thursday sergeant first class leroy petry who is going to be receiving the medal of honor, one of the only living members of the military to receive it since the vietnam war, leary on monday, maeld of honor winner on thursday. it will be, the largest character gap we have ever had. (laughter) >> between guests. denis was wondering how i was going to get him today. anyway, took last week off. and had a great vacation. went away completely unplugged. no news, no tv, threw my cell phone in the ocean which caused some problems later but at the time felt pretty great. so let's plug back in, what i did miss? >> the president is worrying that we have just nine days to raise the debt ceiling or risk default. >> the numbers of jobs created last month, just 18,000, t
Comedy Central
Jul 7, 2011 2:05am PDT
and gentlemen, all right. also cashing in the perfect time to roll out my new jon stewart brand tuxedos. all the elegance of a tuxedo but with the flattering physique. >> (cat yowling). >> jon: indeed. fray fry's decision brings the total number of states permitting gay marriage to 7. 41 other states still have laws on the books explicitly banning same sex marriage. it's why many gay activists are looking for federal action to achieve national marriage equality. last thursday barack obama addressed that very question. >> i have long believed that the so-called defense of marriage act ought to be repealed. >> jon: hear, hear, yeah! i assume the president's problem with the defense of marriage act is that it should be a federal law in support of gay marriage. >> part of the reason that doma doesn't make sense is that traditionally marriage has been decided by the states. (audience groaning). >> jon: really? the gentleman with mixed race parents playing the states no best card. you know, when i was born... ( cheers and applause ) when i was born my parents' marriage would have been illegal in
Comedy Central
Jun 30, 2011 11:00pm PDT
show" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." my name is jon stewart. got a big show for you tonight. bill kristol, editor of "the weekly standard," will be joining us. he's a fox news contributor. yet, yet, i hope to talk to him about a less contentious issue than that, like afghanistan. all right. ( laughter ) what a show. we're going to start with something that i found on the tv box this morning that was maybe one of the greatest things i've ever seen in my life. >> mark halperin. what was the president's strategy? >> are we in the seven-second delay today? >> oh, lordy. >> i want to characterize how i thought the president behaved. >> we have it. we can use it, right, alex? >> yeah, sure, come on. >> go for it. >> i thought he was kind of a dick yesterday. ( laughter ) >> jon: mark halperin, senior political analyst, editor at large of "time" magazine just called the president a dick. and that wasn't like a spontaneous, like, can't contain myself, you lie! like this one, you guys have a delay because i'm
Comedy Central
Jul 19, 2011 11:00pm PDT
daily show" with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show," my name is jon stewart. big show. big, big, big, big, big show. our guests tonight, we have on tonight's program pakistan's former president pervez musharraf. my guess is we'll have a delightful beverage and a lovely conversation. (cheers and applause) so let's begin tonight with the on going "news of the world" phone hacking scandal. to get you caught up, a seemingly simple story. ma and pa owned newspaper hacking into a murdered little girl's phone and... (laughter). ... paying the police to cover it up. has unfortunately turned ugly. (laughter) as of now, london's two top policemen at scotland yard let's call them officer blu rotton has resigned. andrew colton has been arrested and sunday tragically authorities arrested poor mrs. weasley. (laughter) wait, no that's not mrs. weasley. sorry, tragically, authorities arrested the guy from simply red. yeah, that's it. actually, arrested was rebekah brooks, the woman who ran "news of the world" during the wo
Comedy Central
Jul 28, 2011 11:00pm PDT
, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the house urged republicans to unite behind boehner's plan by showing this clip from the movie "the town" >> the town? (laughter) "the town", no rudy-- "rudy" "brian song" or "300" or "rocky" or "rocky 2" or "rocky 3" or really any of the "rockies" you went with the boston bank rubbers in nun costumes clip. >> well, there is going to be good. (laughter) let's see the clip-- (cheers and applause) >> that the republicans used, let's see the clip that the republicans used to urge thei
Comedy Central
Jul 15, 2011 1:00pm PDT
from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: hey, everybody. welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling on august 2nd, man will be sentenced to an eternity of licking our own pet's genital, because what would we really do? let them dry out? of course not. [laughter] so hopefully our president, barack obama, can in one swift rooseveltian "we have nothing to fear but fear itself" moment ease the american psychoi can. >> can you tell the folks at home that no matter what happe
Comedy Central
Jul 21, 2011 9:30am PDT
. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." boom. got a good one for you tonight. we got a good one for you tonight. i is jon stewart. our guest tonight, focus, boy, focus, our guest tonight steve carell for... [laughter] anyway, i look forward to meeting the young man. our top story, of course, tonight, once again, the continuing revelation in the british tabloid "news of the world" scandal. as you may recall, yesterday news corp owner montgomery burns was called before parliament for a dramatic three-hour testimony so intense the media mogul managed to stay awake. [laughter] he managed to stay awake for nearly all of it. >> this is the most humble day of my life. >> jon: 'tis true. for nearly 80 years rupert murdoch has had, for lack of a better term, the "run of the planet." dominion over all that he surveys. but yesterday, july 19, in the year of our murdoch 2011, was the day that the aussie iconoclast had to accept
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 83 (some duplicates have been removed)